How can I help to build my child's self-esteem?
Teach your children how to find joy in their small accomplishments. It is not external things or goods that bring self satisfaction or contribute to a child's self image. It is the actual completion of a task, activity or goal. We all know how good we feel when we have successfully completed a task. The more successful tasks or activities that children successfully complete, whether they be academic or extracurricular, the better they will feel about themselves, and it is this sense of self-confidence that they will take with them into adulthood. Give honest encouragement and praise, but only where it is due. Make sure the task is age-appropriate and reasonably within their capability. Support them with encouragement, but teach them persistence and follow through. Give them an example of a task that you have worked through and successfully completed. Make sure you tell them about your setbacks and trials and errors. They need to know that making mistakes is just part of the learning process. Quality tasks take time and effort. Children need to know this in our instant-on rush, rush culture. Start a record of all their ongoing successes. When they feel insecure or start to doubt their ability, bring out the success book. We all need to review our accomplishments once in a while.

My child doesn't listen to what I say and I'm exhausted from all the daily power struggles to get her to comply with my requests. What should I do?
Some parents seem to have a hard time setting limits for their children and following through with actions for non-compliance. Children have a way of making parents feel that they are the meanest folks in town. In many instances the child ends up calling the shots while the parents worry about being too hard on her. Believe it or not, although the child may balk at parental rules, she indeed expects them, looks for them and needs them. Decide on what your behavioural expectations are; explain them clearly to your child outlining the consequences for non-compliance. The secret then is consistency and follow-through. Start an early age to establish your message.

I'm afraid if I set rules, my child won't like me and I want to be his friend. Should I worry about this?
Sometimes parents focus too much on trying to be their child's friend. We must remember that children are just children, not adults, nor our peers. As children, they require clear and consistent behavioural guidelines. Even though they may protest, they clearly want and need direction and some consistent routines. This gives them a sense of security. All children test limits. That's just what they do. It's not personal. Children will accept your rules and behavioural limitations if you discipline with lots of hugs and humour. You are the parent first, and have a responsibility to set limits. In the long run, they will love and respect you more when they see you care enough about them to set limits for their own good. You just won't see it at the moment!

My child has a learning disability. What does that mean?
As many as 20% of a school population may have a learning disability of one type or another. Even gifted children may have factors that interfere with their learning. Children with learning disabilities have a breakdown somewhere in their processing, storing or reporting of information. Each child's difficulties are unique. After diagnosis, you need to make sure that the school or private psychologist explains very clearly the nature and extent of the disability and how it might impact on classroom learning. As well, you need to understand how the disability might affect daily living at home. Find out what strategies you can use at home to support your child's learning style. The child also needs to understand his disability and learn to become his own advocate. It's the strategies that become the key to success for the child.

My child has no self confidence in his academic ability and is starting to give up. What do I do?
A child's self esteem influences his motivation and achievement. Not all children learn in the same way or at the same rate. We must always look for a child's strengths and special gifts. Children need to know that we all have different abilities and talents. Sometimes those talents lie outside the classroom. Parents need to value the non-academic strengths just as highly as they value the 3R's. Find your child's strengths and keep focusing on them. Point out that not all children have his/her special gifts. We must never contribute to a child's negative self image or he will carry that view of himself into adulthood.

My child says he has homework, but never seems to know what to do. How can I help?
Parents need to become familiar with the school's homework policy. Find out how your child's teacher assigns the homework and how the students are expected to record it. Most students need to see the homework written on a board or have a written copy with specific instructions for a particular long term project or assignment. Call the school if you are not sure of what is expected. Let your child know that you will be asking every day to see where the homework is recorded. Know the time lines for project completion. Children have a way of leaving everything to the last minute and then the whole house goes into overdrive.